5 Ways to Embrace Change During Times of Uncertainty

“The only thing constant is change”~Heraclitus

Through the past six months of drastic changes in the world, it has left people feeling unrest and wanting change, confused on how to act and feel, sad about the state of the world, excited for change, angry with how the change has some about, hopeful about changes that are happening, and afraid of the uncertainty of the change. Often feeling all of these emotions within a one minute time frame. I remember seeing posts on social media around the New Year stating things like “so glad 2019 is over” and “goodbye 2019, it was a rough one” and “can’t wait to see what 2020 brings!”. Well, I don’t think one person was anticipating 2020 being this transformational. I bet a lot of people wish they could have the struggles of 2019 back in an offer to trade it for 2020. Being in the helping field, I have seen several different reactions to the changes. I have seen people fall into deep depression. I have seen people become over-controlling, filled with anxiety and fear. I have observed an increased in the use of unhealthy coping skills, such as online shopping and substance abuse. Since the beginning of 2020, there has been a significant rise in mental health problems, as well as substance use problems. On the flip side, there has also been an increase in people reaching out for help. Online therapy sessions have increased. Private practice therapists are now seeing an increase in sessions. Online therapy platforms, such as BetterHelp and TalkSpace, have also seen an increase in calls and sessions. People are now calling into facilities and programs to get help with their substance abuse issues.

Change is inevitable. All changes, whether you deem them “good” or “bad” come with a level of uncertainty. We may not be able to control all that is happening in the world. We can do our part in not making thing worse though. We do have control over how we choose to respond, how we choose to perceive situations, and what we choose to teach those around us-through our words and actions as we move through this transition. Yes. We DO have a choice in some things. I know all too well that at moments, it can be completely overwhelming and you may feel defeated. I have been there at times throughout my life. I have experienced those thoughts and feelings throughout 2020. You are not alone in what you are feeling, thinking, or experiencing.

Here are a few ways that have helped me in moving through all of these changes and transitions in the most compassionate and graceful way possible.

1. Mantras. When you are recognizing overwhelming emotions, it is helpful to have a mantra you are able to repeat while also focusing on your breath. You can develop your own, or you can search online for a variety of mantras that ring true to your situation. The lovingkindness mantra states “May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease”. One of my personal mantras states “Even though things are uncertain right now, and I don’t know what is going to happen, I accept myself anyways and know I can handle it”
2. Radical Acceptance. Plainly put, this is about accepting life on life’s terms. It does not mean you are happy about it happening. It does not mean that you are joyful about what is going on in the world. It simply means you accept the situation at face value, for what it is, without conditions. When we choose to refuse our reality, it creates a tremendous amount of suffering. Until we can fully accept life on life’s terms, we will continue unnecessary suffering and we are unable to identify any possible solutions to end our suffering. Another one of my favorite quotes of all times: “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”~Epictetus. As long as we are human, we will experience emotional and physical pain. What we choose to do with that pain is completely up to us, and can either create serenity or suffering. Good news/bad news: it is your choice.
3. Gratitude. The way we view our world creates our reality. If we see scarcity and lacking, that is our reality. If we see beauty and abundance, that is our reality. Same world, two completely different perceptions. What we choose to focus on is within our control. When we focus on what we/the word has, rather than what it is lacking, we create more joy, love, and beauty. I choose abundance and beauty. What do you choose?
4. Intentional kindness. This is an action that we choose to take daily. These actions can be as small or as big as you want. This can be a smile, paying for the coffee for the person behind you in line, a word of kindness, thanking someone for their kindness, donating to a cause of your choice, or creating a business that gives back to the community. With all of these examples, there is a change for the positive. You are intentionally choosing love and spreading compassion and kindness. What a beautiful world in which all are kind to each other!
5. Creating meaning. Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived through the Nazi concentration camps, was the creator of the power of this concept. Through his experience he identified that humans have a will to meaning, which means that meaning is our primary motivation for living and allows us to endure pain and suffering. In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, he identified one man who held onto hop and meaning for a very long time in their travels to concentration camps. This man’s meaning was to be reunited with his family. Frankl identified that once the man noticed they were not going in the direction of his family, he gave up hope and purpose for living, and was dead within 3 days. I focus on this part of the book in hopes that this will enlighten you on the power of creating and aligning with your own purpose and meaning in life.

Today, I challenge you to choose at least one of the above exercises to engage in, and then practice it for seven consecutive days. I would love to hear back about your experience after the week of practice!

Sending much love and light, LJ