Attitude of Gratitude

“Wear Gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life”~Rumi

Every single morning I wake up and have the same routine. Put the coffee on, sit at my pub table that overlooks the back yard, and write my gratitude list. It is the foundational start to every day. As I write this, I remember a time of my personal suffering. There was never “enough” in my life. I was always “wanting more” and “better”. ‘More’ of what you may ask? More of everything. More love. More friends. More space. More happiness. More quiet time. More stability. More time. More clothes. More vacations. More, more, more. ‘Better’ what, you may ask? A better house. A better car. A better relationship. A better job. A better body. All of this wanting. All of this scarcity. It left me feeling empty and never enough. It led to arguments with my husband about all he was lacking for me. It led to low self esteem. It led to insanity within my mind. It lead to blame and resentment. As I reflect on that time in my life, I feel tremendous sadness for that person and offer immense compassion for her, as she was living a life out of fear and scarcity.

It has been quite the journey from that time in my life. I have moved through different jobs, advancing my career. I have moved through different mentors, guiding me through my growing edges. There were really difficult moments and even more difficult conversations-both professionally and personally. There was a physical move with my family from a house and friends of ten years in metro-Atlanta to the mountains of North Georgia. There were moments of second guessing decisions. There were moments of second guessing relationships. Thank goodness for all of the support of my family and friends, as well as mentors throughout the years! Through friends, and family, I received the support needed to keep moving and know that I was loved. Through my mentors, and my willingness to do the work they requested of me, it allowed me to move to of hurt and scarcity into love and abundance. Living from an attitude and life of gratitude allows me to move past my ego. It allows me to make genuine connections. It allows me to move away from the need to be “right” all of the time, and into a state of curiosity and empathic listening. It allows me to use humor in debates and arguments instead of defensiveness and anger. It moves me away from fear and into faith. Today, my life is abundant.

Check out the proven benefits to living a life of gratitude in the following link: https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2014/11/23/7-scientifically-proven-benefits-of-gratitude-that-will-motivate-you-to-give-thanks-year-round/#83218e3183c0

Ways to engage in gratitude:

• Gratitude journal. Just like I stated in the start of this blog, I begin each day with gratitude by writing ten gratifies in my journal. I am careful to not make a list (eg. family, my cat, sunshine, etc.) so I am more thoughtful in the reason for my gratitude (eg. I am grateful for the music my daughter plays on her instruments that fill the house with beauty).
• Say thank you. This can be in the verbal or written form. I can often get stuck into this belief that others ‘should’ do certain things and I ‘should not’ have to thank them for these expected tasks. In my personal life, it is important for me to thank my husband for doing the laundry, picking up the kids, or making dinner (and I will admit that I am still consistently working on this one!). I do believe that in a relationship, we help each other. And I do believe that it is still important to thank the other person. For instance, if my husband was not willing to schedule his work around the time the kids get off the bus, I would not have been able to take the career advancement that has me working later hours.
• Increase awareness of judgements and challenge them. With this skill, I do not expect anyone, including myself to get rid of judgements all together. That is impossible and would leave us unsafe. We have judgments for a reason-to protect us. This is about decreasing the judgments that keep us stuck and hurting. Such judgments may include “I am worthless”, or “People are generally mean and heartless”. There are several ways/skills to challenge these judgments, which I can fully get into in another blog if you would like. If this challenge is new to you, I first just encourage you to increase your awareness of these hurtful judgments.
• Increase time spent in the present. Being fully in the moment takes a lot of practice. I know I am better able to be able to find gratitude in moments-even in the difficult moments-when I practice being fully present. Studies have also shown that increasing time spent in the present increases moments of joy. There are several apps that you can download to help you with mindfulness. I use InsightTimer because it is free and there are several options to choose from for your purpose of meditation and mindfulness. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/insight-timer-meditation-app/id337472899
• Spend more time with loved ones. This is a huge shift I have made in the past year or two. I have spent a lot of time ‘proving’ myself and my worth through my jobs. I overcommitted to people, events, and tasks I did not want to and felt obligated to. I now carefully choose who I spend time with and what activities I engage in on a weekly basis. I was able to shift my thinking and behaviors by looking at it in terms of business. In business, we look at a strategic plan from one year to the next. We look at spending time in those events that will create the best return of investment (ROI). When I think of my life in these terms, I think about creating a strategic plan for increasing moments of happiness, as well as the activities and people that will create the best ROI for filling my soul.

My challenge for you is to increase your attitude of gratitude over the next week. See if you notice a difference. Good news is that it definitely won’t hurt you! I would love to hear about your experience and results-comment below, send me a message through Facebook, or email me!

Much love, LJ