The Law of Pain. Creating purpose through pain.

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional”~Epictetus

This is a statement that I whole heartedly believe. I would be so daring to identify it as a core belief I hold about emotional pain. There have been many painful moments in my life, as I am sure many people can relate to. There were the breakups as a teen, that felt as if my body was ripped in two and a hole was left where my heart once was-I know…a bit dramatic, but as a teen, I was highly emotional (aka. dramatic)-some might argue that I am still that ’emotionally in tune’ as I like to put it. There were deaths that created a belief and feeling that entire world was crumbling around me, with the most recent being the death of my dad. There were unmet expectations-of myself and others-that created resentments that I held for, what seems like, and eternity. There were stressful jobs that challenged my ethical and moral beliefs at times. During these times, I remember feeling lost, shameful, and alone. Thankfully, I have developed several skills throughout my life that helped me navigate the painful experiences, and aided in my ability to use my pain to move towards growth.

My journey to understand and harness my painful experiences to create growth began with Victor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. This book is the epitome of creating purpose out of pain and the power of the mind to overcome any situation. There are a few statements in this book that grabbed my attention:

• “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms-to choose one’s attitudes in any given circumstances”
• “The prisoner who had lost his faith in the future-his future-was doomed. With his loss of belief in the future, he lost his spiritual hold; he let himself decline and became subject to mental and physical decay”
• “What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general, but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment”
• “He knows the ‘why’ for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any ‘how’.
• “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”.

This book is filled with thought provoking passages, and I encourage anyone who is seeking a more spiritual journey through pain to read this book. This is but one of the skills we can use to help us through painful experiences. In my experience, in order to obtain the ability to create meaning out of a painful experience, I began learning about and practicing meditation and mindfulness. My journey into these skills began around 2007 and from there, my interests peaked and I began researching and practicing with a passion. Today, I continue my growth in mindfulness, compassion (for every individual), and creating meaning from pain. Because of this practice, I was able to challenge my thinking and my reactions. And because of these skills, I am able to life a mostly happy, joyous, and free life filled with gratitude and abundance. I emphasize mostly because I am still human, which means I am perfectly imperfect and always finding a growing edge.

Through meditation and mindfulness, I was able to find my ‘why’ that allows me to get through any ‘how’. What is your ‘why’?

Much love, LJ